Sadness

Due to various things, I was unable to say goodbye to four of my good friends over the last 24 hours... it was very sad. Fortunately, I have email addresses for two of them, and I can get the other two's emails. But it's still sad to not be able to say goodbye.

Way kara-mon (phonetic spelling of "Yes, totally" in French)

So I changed my diet, and so far am doing well...
though I'm now spending about 2xs the cost of my dinner on drinks...
I buy boiled vegetable with cheese and two roti bread (akin to a tortilla) for 31 rps.
But then I also buy a Tropicana fruit juice which ranges between 50-75 rps. for 1 liter.

Very good so far... (though I think I'm mildly allergic to the orange juice).

Unfortunately some of my best friends in India are leaving (they've been here a month with me). So I'm a bit sad... but I'll keep them in prayer just as they will keep me.


And I might just go visit them in Paris, on my European Pilgrimage this winter... (if you're interested in coming, email me ;-) or post a comment...) I plan on going through Poland, Medjugorgje and Italy over a month... but at the very least Poland and Italy.


The last few days have been really hectic... we're getting ready for a volunteers day, so I've had several jobs of the last few days to get done. While helping with a job (copying down the name of the songs they musicians are going to sing) I doodled on my hand... it started as a scribble...


We also had a mob of volunteers show up one day to kalighat... we took over half a bus...

And orientations are getting larger... more and more people are getting out of their classes in Europe so we'll have over 300 volunteers in less than two weeks...

Blessings of friends

Today I went late to Kalighat, but in time for mass, which is such a blessing!
Everytime I feel like I'm struggling with something in my life, I look and the majority of the time, I realise, its because I've missed daily mass. Since I've been sick so much lately, I've been noticing it so much more. Christ really is my daily bread, without which I slowly die.

After mass, I took it easy and folded laundry then helped finish up dishes... then we headed out.

On the way home we got mobbed by the street kids on Park Street... (really the reason was that there was a large group of foreigners, especially women, so the kids swarmed thinking easy prey)... the kids left me alone pretty much, and only took a little convincing that I would not give them anything... the girls however aren't as stern as the guys, so they get constantly hassled.

After that, we headed to Flury's a fancy coffee shop (which is really expensive for India) where I got an Iced coffee with Ice cream.





I have to admit that it is really nice to have Americans around to talk with... I've been getting tired of being completely quiet as the French speak to each other and forget that I don't speak French... and the Irish are okay, but most of them aren't around my age.

God is so amazing! I don't know how to explain the graces He grants when you ask for them... you can never understand until you've experienced His love.


Steubenville South is happening right now so please keep them in prayer! It's an amazing ministry put on by people I love greatly. (It's a retreat for 5500 youth and has about 500 volunteers to run it). I wish I could be called there right now, but God has me here, even though my heart yearns to be with my brothers and sisters.

Also keep the retreatants in prayer for the next few months, they'll have an amazing experience at Steubenville, but many will return to youth ministries that are lacking formation or that are non-existant, and they may suffer greatly. Ask God to grace them with perseverance, courage , joy and strength.

India's been good lately, a bit frustrating stuck in my room and unable to work as often as I've liked but, sometimes you have to wait. I finally started wearing my longhees, yesterday and today... which is a different experience, but its been not as embarrassing as I expected... a few sisters have even complimented me on them. Its still weird having to be conscious of how I sit.

"He is my Light and my Salvation
Whom have I to fear
In His secret place I'll hide and pray
That I might hear a simple word

Oh how I would have despaired
If You had not come found me there
I can lean against You throne and find my Peace
Find my Peace
And when my enemies draw near
I pray that they will find
That I'm protected and secure
All tempests He will bind with a mighty word

Oh how I would have despaired
If You had not come found me there
I can lean against You throne and find my Peace
Find my Peace (x2)

He is my Light and my Salvation whom have I to fear?

~Jennifer Knapp "Peace" From the album "Lay It Down"
(Emphasis added)

Sick again

This whole sick thing is getting over played...
Yesterday afternoon I came down with a fever which I still have... yay.

I'm beginning to wonder if there's something about my diet that needs to be fixed, since I've been sick so often.

Some pictures

A view lookingout my window...

This is the size of a business card... its from the first time I went to Oly's bar for steak. A guy there who apparently is the president of a company came up to us somewhat inebriated and carved the rose out of the smooth gold foil/paper card using his thumb nail... it pretty cool... this was also when I had begun one of my novenas. He was apparently interviewed by the BBC for this skill back in 1995.


This is one of my new kurtas (shirts) my clothes are tearing from being washed so much (and because they're so old) so I had to buy new clothes. So I decided on lightweight and native. (the red background for the gold rose picture above is my other kurta). In the left of this picture you can see my longees hanging, aka man skirts. I haven't worn them yet as I don't know how to knot them... and I'm a bit self conscious of being a foreigner. But in a few days I'll get the gumption up. Maybe even tomorrow. Or later on today.

Jumping in

sometimes I just jump in.
Call it a character flaw, call it a natural aptitude.
Whatever you may call it, it's something I've struggled with for a long time.
And due to it I've developed a rather conservative and cautious character.

It takes me quite awhile to change my thoughts, or to agree to something.
And it serves me well, usually.

It makes me very discriminate of what I'm willing to do, and what I'm willing to say (my tongue and temper are held much more now than they used to be, to the point that I usually don't have to think about them.)

But sometimes it fails, and I revert to my impulsive character.

I did that recently with an exciting opportunity that I was offered. It seemed like I was needed, I love to serve, so I agreed. Even though I had made a deal with God that I wouldn't move on it until He said one way or the other. I made excuses and didn't stick to what my heart was drawing me to (waiting on the Lord).

Then slowly I realised peace had escaped me...

Turmoil and struggle was engulfing me.

And I slowly backed away, when I knew I should have run.

And the turmoil continued and got worse...

Then I was finally convinced, and I ran. Back to the arms that anticipate the prodigal son.

So what happened? I had entered a physical and spiritual battle that needs faithful warriors (why I had apparently been asked), but the excitement of the battle enticed me further than the call. And the need was a good enough excuse to convince myself that I was called to the service.

But a soldier should never enter a battle without his Master's banner, and I did just that. A soldier without a banner is alone, as no one can locate him easily, and the Master's armies rally only around His banner.

When I went alone, I saw beautiful things that touch my heart more dearly than anything I've ever known. Smiles that pull an everlasting joy from deep down inside you. And a feeling of humility that makes you realise how little you are, and how great He is.

But by yourself, you can experience the glories, and you can also experience the tragedies.

And though I've not been unfortunate enough to experience the depth of tragedy, I saw a glimpse, and I knew I by myself could not even handle that small amount, which is why I ran back to my post, to wait for the Lord. I don't want to experience darkness without Him. I don't want to fight the Enemy by myself, because I know I'll lose even before I start. Only through His cross and resurrection do I have hope to do any good.

And in the day that I returned, I was granted a great consolation. Peace and Joy. Smiles that I wondered why had gone missing returned.

Perhaps, God will call me to the battle yet. If He does I will follow, if he doesn't I will follow. I will sacrifice my glories for obedience to His will. In the meantime, I will long for His word, more than watchmen for Daybreak.

wounds

I was going to post a blog about some of the wounds we see...

but then i started writting it and realised how disturbing they are. (I knew it was disturbing, but they are so disturbing that I'm probably never going to write on this blog about them in detail.)

suffice it to say they are surreal.

And disgusting.

and if an American had them... we'd probably have already died, or had our appendage cut off.

Of course if an American had them, it'd be astonishing, as we have such good medical care, that is much much much more accessible to the poor than it is here.

These wounds would never be seen in America, because we'd have prevented their decay.

They'd already be healed.

And the man screaming in pain would be smiling and dancing, no longer eating rotten food because he can't move.

Days in Photographic Review

My feet are tired... lots of walking... lots... and many of my friends are leaving, and many more are arriving by the day... this week we've had two large (10+) groups of Irish Volunteers, and a group from Baylor that came for 3 days...



A group of friends, the white girl above me is Bernadette from Ames, IA... the rest are mostly french, as one of the girls (Marguerite, back row, furthest right) in the back was leaving (it was a party).

Went to a nice bar the other night and tried some wine... and rediscovered why I hate bloody mary's (a friend had one)... I hate tomato juice.


Marie, another one of my friends left earlier last week... That's Bruno hugging her, John with eyes closed, and Vincent with the glasses.




Cats are everywhere, and I've been photographing them a bit lately... they're pretty... and they don't seem to mind the flash... and I don't mind them as long as they stay away from my lungs... speaking of which... my lungs are mostly better than they would be in Iowa, save the massive smog.

John left for Hyderabad today... (Abhijeet Shah, A mutual friend lives there)...

Yes, this photo is upside down... cameras really should have a button on the bottom so you can take pictures easier.

More sunday photos

this first picture is just something i saw while walking on the street and thought was really beautiful.
so Indians love getting their photos taken by digital cameras...

Victoria Memorial Photos from Sunday

Joe, Anne-marie and I

At a Ghat in the flower market. A ghat is a large series of steps into the water.
These blue pictures are from the Food court in the Trainstation... it's airconditioned... :-)




This is when we sat down and got Chai (Cha in Bengla). Notice the rose (Uhm... Yes?: Novenas) ... The Cha place was really nice... it was hidden behind some of the flower stalls, in a very covered and cool location... I asked for another (ar ek), and the guy looked at me then at the trash, so I threw my clay cup away after a few moments pause. Then he looked at me exasperated... he apparently was expecting me to keep my cup... so we all laughed. And they were good humored about it, too.