Tomorrow

Tomorrow I go to the MC father's house... which is good, because right now Kolkata is inundated with volunteers. I went to Kalighat today (lately I've just been working at the mother house, resting to keep from being sick, or sick in the mornings so I've not gone to Kalighat frequently lately). And the whole time there were about 7 people just sitting (though the 7 people at any given time were different, and after the laundry was done I sat, since I'm sick and don't want to kill the patients with a random germ... or get more sick from the patients.) I'm a bit uneasy about this whole thing... I heard Fr. David's story, and it scared me a bit as it sounds akin to the path God has been leading me, so perhaps God chose Fr. David as my spiritual director to lead me to the MCs? and the fact that my spiritual director is also the Formator (aka. novice master) for the MCs in Kolkata is another coincidence that I'm wondering about. So this is me scared, yet trusting in God's divine providence. I trust Him, He's always been good to me, and I think I'm ready to lay down my hopes for His, if He does ask. It will be a struggle, but then as John the Baptist said "He must increase, and I must decrease."

I tried to eat lunch today, but apparently my appetite is gone... which is not a good sign. I could barely force down some yougurt and piece of fruit (and A french fry). So I hope I'm not more sick than I feel... that would be bad... (and I've been feeling quite tired and a little bit sick for a while).



This season brings what one of the other long-term volunteers calls "tourists" as volunteers, those seeking an "experience". Padre Pio's brothers used to kick out people who came to see him as "tourists" or "spectacle seekers". Though I can't say the "tourists" get in the way as much as they would if they were gawking over the wounds of Christ on Padre Pio, I can say that the long term volunteers become much holier during this period than perhaps any other. It requires much patience, from what I observe, to guide the newbies... and to teach people who "know what [they're] doing". Though I've not really had to experience it yet, I know that those who do are growing in humility and patience by leaps and bounds. In a way I envy them and wish I could stay to grow in those ways, but I have other ways to grow... paths that are dark, that I can't see down, and that I'm really scared of. But I step out in faith.

Mother Teresa was right "[the Sisters and patients] don't need the volunteers here, it is the volunteers that need to be here."

Also, in less than an hour I get my hair cut... I'm quite nervous.